Best Ideas Not Considered in One Week, One Tool

Fantasy Faculty League Platform

Players draft faculty members and then have regular competitions based on stats derived from RateMyProfessor, WebOfScience, and Amazon.

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Snack Positioning System

Waze-like social networking app that aggregates social knowledge about snack locations to the entire world.

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Feline Distraction Device

Computer-controlled device which, when turned on, activates a feline-distracting remote device to get the cat off of your desk/hands so you can keep working.

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BardSnark: Add Shakespearean insults to your MS reviews

Markov-chain editor that inserts random draws from the Shakespeare Insult Kit (http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html) into manuscript reviews.

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Internet Refrigerator

See below for context. The internet fridge is a go to example for how the idea of "smart" devices can fail us. It would be fun to see something that plays with the idea of the smart fridge to remind us of the limitations of tools and hacks. From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_refrigerator "By the late 1990s and the early 2000s, the idea of connecting home appliances to the internet (Internet of ...more »

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Sorkinator: Banter Markov Chain Editor

Add some classic walk-and- to that chalk-and-talk lecture, turning your classes into compressed perfect-dialog minuets of an hour. Your classes will hang on your every word.

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Whedonator: Nerdtastic Markov Chain Editing

Sad that YOUR ADVISOR fell asleep reading the eighth chapter of your postmodern magnum opus? Run those early chapters through the Whedonator to add fantastical beings and hard-to-believe stories about how Hayden White swore in Chinese and was filmed slinging daggers into demons hearts while living in Joss Whedon's black-and-white L.A. mansion.

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Diss-Bot

Guided by the dissertation proposal you crafted 5 years ago, this AI tool rapidly assembles all the random paragraphs and tortured sentences that you've painstakingly created across numerous drafts and yet can't quite piece together. Within hours, Diss-Bot turns your scattered fragments into pages of machine-polished, embargo-worthy academic prose! All of which frees you for important tasks like following #owot live on ...more »

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Semiotician X

Not sure what gang sign to flash at the next humanities conference? Semiotician X will show you the cool kids' latest moves, modeling and allowing you to practice before the Big Paper Session.

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Embar-gone

Perhaps you've embargoed your dissertation, but you still have a nagging feeling that your publishability is being sabotaged by extant copies in circulation? Using the amazing power of MS Word's Visual Basic for Applications, Embargone programs extant copies of your dissertation to self-destruct at a pre-specified time. Text will be replaced by Markov-chain generated Nora Ephron-like text (see Ephronator). Now you'll ...more »

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Hippostrich

Chimera that can charge you at a full run while keeping its head in the sand. In that way, it's sometimes like radio talk-show hosts.

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Antidisendevirtualizer

Takes image. Antidisendevirtualizes it. Warning: Bayesian prediction of atmospheric conditions and other safety precautions required. In North Carolina, prohibited from putting in the back of a deep wardrobe.

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