Automatically dips your morning pastry of choice into your morning beverage of choice. Will also tweet about it and set up server batch processes timed to the dipping.
Skeuomorphic button shaped like a mouse for your tabby to control your military's nuclear weaponry. Your military is no longer on hair-trigger alert. Call it "whisker-trigger." And hurry up with the catnip!
Just write אמת on this cute little teddy bear's forehead, and it will turn into a raving maniac first destroying all threats to your household and community and then starting to destroy everything. But first pausing to have a nice picnic in the woods.
Worried that your paper on leukocyte acidification is likely to put reviewers to sleep? Run it through the Ephronator, which will automagically insert smart, funny comments on life and romance into your paper.
Motorized attachment to smartphones that will lift your moustache during an audiobook, so that it looks like you're reading the book aloud.
Who cares about hot-tub time machines? You can't find the pool chemicals in the Triassic anyhow. We want a grad-student or academic-librarian mailroom time machine, because we KNOW grad students and librarians squirrel away essential survival materials in mailroom fridges, cubbies, and desk nooks and crannies. If you want the One Week, One Tool team to build a Grad Student Mailroom Time Machine, upvote this idea NOW!